– by Missy –
The best part of any journey is that it can be reset any time. Not happy with how or where you’re going? You don’t have to continue. You can choose another path, and see if that makes you happier.
Being unwell in the past 1.5 weeks gave my mind time to process things. Very unconsciously, and with all preconceptions in the wind, as consciously I was occupied with simple things like breathing, or walking. And it did me good. I wish my body/mind didn’t feel the need to break down this much but we have this unfortunate cycle where my ego doesn’t really pay attention to them unless they break it down. And one reliable way to do that is to make me sick.
Apparently they had a lot to say because I haven’t been this sick for many years. And I felt it wasn’t really fair either: I started this healthy living, I should be applauded, not punished.
But it’s too little. Not too late, maybe, hopefully, I’m still in time but I have to do more. I have to help my body more to keep going. I’m 44 this year, and have always given extra work to my body by being overweight, not active enough, not eating all the nutrients I needed. And so far my body has been supportive. Patient. Optimistic.
But enough is enough. Doing the absolute minimum and saying “look, I live healthier” is not flying any more. My body needs help now. It doesn’t want to hurt, it doesn’t want to get sick, it wants freedom, energy, strength, and I’m not giving it to her.
But she deserves it. She deserves only good things, the best fuel, the best love, my everlasting gratitude. So the rest of the month is going to be about her, about helping her, about giving the best possible life to her.
Loving Mia opened my eyes to the way I should be loving myself as well. It’s not about giving in to all my desires, but acting on the ones that are the best for me. Being free is not about doing everything I want but doing the the right things.
Mia is only 4 years old. With any luck, we can have 12-16 more years together. And what I do now, both for her, and for me, will determine what those years are going to be like: are they going to be fun, active, spending time outside, exploring together, or are they going to be increasingly painful, locked inside, sleeping all day?
This is a choice of today that I have to make it for both of us. And I still want the same thing: a healthy dog, and a healthy life. I just need to do more for it.
2 thoughts on “New beginnings”
Sometimes you can be working hard at getting fit and then the flu or whatever hits and it’s back to square one. I’m 71 and wonder if I’m going to get back to where I was after an Illness. Going to aqua fit with friends helped as exercising in a heated pool is not exactly unpleasant. The I started adding some gym sessions and felt really good. Now after being sick I have started again. Of course I don’t have a little dog to take on walks but I’m working on it.
I know the feeling of knowing you have to do better for yourself and your furbabies, and yet just not living up to your expectations. Hang in there!
Ronel visiting for the A-Z Challenge My Languishing TBR: N